Renée Yoxon

thoughts and fears about starting school and moving forward

by Renée


I got my McGill student ID card the other day. Now that I have something to hold in my hand it feels real. I’m really going to school less than four weeks. I’m really going to be commuting and packing lunch and attending classes and doing homework and practicing all the time. A lot of people have asked if I’m nervous about the time commitment or the workload but I’m really not worried about those things. I’m at my best when I’m busy and I know how to work hard.

What I’m nervous about is taking such a concrete step towards music. If I was going to change direction in my life, now would be a good time. I’ve already been working in marketing and communications recently so I could study those and try and pursue a career with some job security.

Taking a step in this particular direction is making a commitment to a life of a lot of beauty, really hard work, and sacrifice. And that is really scary.  But even though I’m scared I can’t seem to turn away from music. Even though I’m broke I don’t feel desperate enough to abandon my dreams. Maybe that’s foolish and risky but maybe these risks I take now will pay off later.

Anyway studying jazz performance at McGill is something I’ve wanted to do since I was 15 years old and I would be remiss if I didn’t honour my adolescent aspirations while I have the chance.

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