If you’ve been practicing your trans voice in private but freeze up when it’s time to use it in public, you’re not alone. Many trans and nonbinary people struggle with the leap from voice exercises to real-world conversations. It’s completely understandable—voice training is both a psychological and physical challenge. But there’s a simple step that can help you bridge the gap: micro-conversations.

Why Does Your Voice Feel Different in Public?

When practicing alone, you’re in control. There’s no pressure, no immediate feedback from others, and no endurance demands. But when you try to use your voice around other people, suddenly everything feels different. This can be for two main reasons:

• Psychological barriers – Anxiety, self-consciousness, and fear of being misgendered can make speaking in public feel overwhelming.
• Endurance challenges – Holding your target voice for long periods is physically demanding, and without practice, it can be exhausting.

So how do we ease into using our voice more in daily life?

The Endurance Roadmap: Small Steps Toward Long Conversations

Instead of jumping straight into long conversations, I teach my students to gradually increase their exposure using an endurance roadmap. This roadmap moves from 0% voice use (never using your target voice in public) to 100% (using it effortlessly in all areas of life). Right in the middle is a crucial but often overlooked step: micro-conversations.

What Are Micro-Conversations?

Micro-conversations are short, low-pressure interactions that help you practice your voice in a real-world setting without the intensity of a full conversation. They include:

• Ordering coffee
• Asking a cashier a question
• Saying thank you to a bus driver
• Asking for directions
• Paying a stranger a compliment
• Making a simple phone inquiry (like checking store hours)

These small interactions allow you to test your voice in public with minimal risk.

Why Micro-Conversations Are Easier Than You Think

Some people assume that using their voice with strangers will be harder than with friends or loved ones, but the opposite is often true. Here’s why:

• Strangers don’t have expectations about your voice. Unlike people who know you, they aren’t comparing your current voice to your past voice.
• Interactions are brief. You don’t need to hold the conversation for long—just a few words or a single sentence.
• You can walk away. If you feel awkward, the conversation is over in seconds, and you move on with your day.

These tiny moments help you build confidence without overwhelming yourself.

A Common Pitfall: The Avoidance Loop

One of the biggest mistakes I see students make is getting stuck in a loop of hesitation. They feel like their voice isn’t “good enough” yet, so they avoid trying it in public. But because they don’t practice, they don’t improve, and the fear grows stronger.

If this sounds familiar, try lowering the bar as much as possible. Choose just one word, practice it, plan when you’ll use it, and celebrate when you do. Small wins add up!

Watch Me Put Micro-Conversations to the Test

I decided to put this concept into action by recording myself using different voices in everyday situations. Watch the video below to see how strangers reacted:

[Embedded YouTube video: "Struggling to Use Your Trans Voice in Public? Try This."]

Have thoughts on the video? Drop your comments on YouTube and let me know your experience with micro-conversations!

How to Start Practicing Micro-Conversations

If you’re ready to try this for yourself, here are some actionable tips:

1. Start small. Try just a “thank you” or “good morning” in your target voice.
2. Use natural opportunities. Pick situations where speaking is already expected (like ordering food or asking a store employee a question).
3. Plan ahead. Rehearse what you’re going to say so you don’t freeze up in the moment.
4. Experiment. Test different vocal techniques and see how they feel in different interactions.

Want a Full Roadmap for Your Trans Voice?

Micro-conversations are just one step in the bigger journey of trans voice training. In my courses, I guide you through the entire endurance roadmap so you can move from private practice to full confidence in your voice. If you’re looking for structured training, check out my courses.

Final Thoughts

Using your trans voice in public doesn’t have to feel impossible. By easing into real-world interactions through micro-conversations, you can gain confidence without pressure. The key is to start small, build momentum, and celebrate progress.

And if you liked the 'Small Talk Survivor' shirt I wore in the video, you can get it here. It’s from Octopied Mind, a queer-woman-owned Canadian brand that makes awesome stuff!

What’s your experience with using your voice in public? Let’s talk about it in the YouTube comments!