People talk about gender euphoria like it’s a final destination. Like once you’ve had top surgery, nailed the perfect outfit, or completed your trans voice training, you’ll just live there forever, forever affirmed, forever complete. But that’s not how it works. Not for me, and not for most of the trans folks I work with.

In this post (and the video below), I want to offer a different way of thinking about gender euphoria. Not as a finish line, but as something you can notice, practice, and return to again and again.

Leave a comment on the video to share what gender euphoria looks like for you. I read them all, and I’d love to hear your story.

For me, the most powerful moments of euphoria haven’t come with confetti or grand reveals. They’ve shown up in small, quiet moments when I suddenly feel right in my body. I remember sitting at my piano not long after top surgery, breathing in to sing, and laughing out loud at how light my chest felt. Or running without music, just listening to the rhythm of my breath, and feeling this deep sense of freedom wash over me. After my hysterectomy, that feeling showed up in intimacy, too. Knowing that pregnancy was completely off the table gave me a kind of peace I didn’t even realize I was missing.

Those experiences didn’t feel like grand triumphs. They felt like alignment. Like ease. And to me, that’s what gender euphoria is.

The same thing happens in my work with students. A lot of folks come to me for trans voice training with one big goal: “I just want to stop being misgendered.” And that’s a valid goal because being misgendered sucks. But what I see more often than not is that voice work isn’t about crossing some magical threshold. It’s about accumulating tiny wins. A vowel that feels right. A laugh that sounds like you. A moment of not being sir’d at the coffee shop—and letting that carry you through the day.

If you're working on your voice right now, I’d love for you to check out my free webinar: Change the Gender of Your Voice (No Hormones or Surgeries Required). It’s a great starting point with practical tools you can try right away.

I’ve had students tell me that the real euphoria kicked in not when their voice sounded “perfect,” but when it stopped feeling like a performance and started feeling like a choice. Then, eventually, it didn’t even feel like a choice—it just felt like them.

Here’s the shift I wish more people talked about: gender euphoria isn’t something you earn by checking off enough boxes. You don’t need the right surgery, the right voice, or the right clothes to feel good. You can want more and still love where you are. Both things can be true.

Voice training, at its best, isn’t about fixing something. It’s about reclaiming something. Your voice doesn’t have to be something you hide or tolerate. It can be something you enjoy. And that joy? That’s gender euphoria too.

I also wrote about it in Embrace: Living Your Best Queer Life, a queer wellness magazine edited by Lianne Terry. You can download the issue with my article here, and sign up to receive future quarterly issues here.

So if you’ve been waiting to arrive before you let yourself feel good, don’t. Let yourself feel good now. Even just for a moment. In your breath. In your laugh. In a voice that feels like yours.