As you may know, I'm usually here talking about gender-affirming voice work. But today I'm putting on a different shirt entirely (or taking one off??). Today, I'm talking about my own gender-affirming care: my top surgery.
Three years ago, I had a bilateral mastectomy. Two years ago, I had a hysterectomy. Both of these surgeries have been profoundly positive and affirming for me, and I'm finally ready to share the behind-the-scenes of the first one.
At the time of my top surgery, I recorded a recovery vlog—eight weeks of my healing journey—but I kept it private for safety reasons. For the past couple of years, it's lived quietly as a bonus resource inside my course Masculinize Your Voice Without Testosterone. Today, I'm releasing it publicly for the first time.
Watch the Full Video
Prefer to read? Keep scrolling for the story behind the vlog, what you can expect to see, and some reflections on three years with a flat, nonbinary chest. But if you want to see the vlog videos, you'll have to watch the video.
Why I Kept It Private
Being newly post-op is a vulnerable experience—physically, emotionally, and in terms of how much of yourself you want to put out into the world. At the time, releasing footage of myself in those early recovery days didn't feel safe.
Three years of distance has changed that. I now feel confident and grounded in saying: this was one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself. I love my flat, nipless, nonbinary chest. Period.
That clarity is exactly why I wanted to share this now.
What You'll See in the Vlog
The compiled video runs about 45 minutes and documents my day-by-day and week-by-week recovery. Here's what you can expect:
Hours post-surgery. Yes, very early. I was documenting from the beginning.
The full eight weeks of recovery, week by week, as things healed and changed.
The emotional reality of top surgery recovery, not just the physical one.
Three years out. What my chest actually looks like now, revealed at the end of the video.
This is the kind of content I was hungry for when I was considering surgery.
If you've ever wondered what top surgery recovery actually looks like, or if you're somewhere in the research-and-considering phase yourself, this video was made for you.
Three Years Later
I think about my life now as having a clear demarcation in it: BTS (before top surgery) and ATS (after top surgery). And everything has just gotten better since then.
That's not a sentence I say lightly or to pressure anyone into anything. Surgery is a deeply personal decision, and there's no single right path through gender-affirming care. But for me, personally? This was it.
If you still have questions after watching the video about recovery, my experience, or anything, drop them in the comments on the video above. I may do a dedicated top surgery Q&A down the line. (Tea and I have even floated the idea of a masculinizing vs. feminizing top surgery Q&A together, which could be fun.)
And if you just want to see how my chest looks now, here you go:
If You're Considering Top Surgery
I'm not a surgeon, and this isn't medical advice. You'll want to talk to qualified healthcare providers about your specific situation. But as someone who has been through it, a few things I'd offer:
Do your research, but also trust your gut. The intellectual case for surgery and the felt sense of wanting it are both valid sources of information.
Community matters. Seeing other nonbinary and trans people's experiences, like recovery vlogs, Q&As, and candid reflections, was genuinely helpful to me.
Recovery takes longer than you think, and that's okay. Eight weeks is a real commitment. The vlog doesn't skip the hard parts.
And if your gender-affirming journey includes your voice as well as your body, you know where to find me. My course Masculinize Your Voice Without Testosterone is designed for transmasculine, nonbinary, and gender-expansive people who want to work with their voice—no hormones required. You can also explore all my free voice resources to get started.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my journey. It means a lot to finally put it out into the world.
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I know you're here because you're striving to live your most authentic life, yet one major hurdle remains: your voice. Instead of empowering you, it brings dysphoria, misgendering, and discomfort.
So, are you ready to create a voice that resonates deeply and authentically with who you are? Join me for an empowering FREE webinar where you'll learn practical and easy skills that will show you how to create a voice that fills you with confidence and joy—without relying on medical interventions!
