Recently, I sat down with John Parker on This Queer Book Saved My Life, a podcast about the queer books that help us become who we are. The episode is called "What If Being A Little Deviant Was Cool and Sexy?" (a line I said, so I only have myself to blame lol), and we talked about the book that saved mine: Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters.
We covered a lot of ground: finding the book as a teenager, playing with gender at university, my years as a jazz musician, coming out to my mom, and what all of it has to do with my work as a gender-affirming voice teacher today.
A quick content note: this episode discusses mature topics, including sexuality and kink, so it might not be one for younger listeners or the office speakers. This write-up keeps things family friendly and sticks to the book, gender, and voice.
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The Book That Found Me
The queer book that saved my life is Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters. I found it when I was about 16, which is a big coming-of-age time for everybody, and I was starting to ask big questions about my gender and my sexuality. What is normal? What am I allowed to want from my life?
I can't remember exactly how it found me. I must have read a review somewhere and put it on hold at the library. It was so popular that I couldn't finish it in my three weeks, so I had to bring it back (I was so sad). Then my high school boyfriend bought me my own copy. I still have it, and I was holding it while we recorded! Many of my friends have read that exact copy since.
If you haven't read it: Nan is a young oyster girl (an oyster girl, how sapphic is that right off the top??) who falls for Kitty, a male impersonator performing on the music hall stage, and the two of them run away together. There's a lot more, but that's where it starts.
When I first read it, I identified with Nan, because I was in the middle of discovering myself the way she was. Over the years I've come to identify more with the male impersonators, which is a journey Nan goes on in the book too. I kind of followed her path in my own life.
Tipping the Velvet
Author: Sarah Waters
Genre: Queer historical fiction
Best for: Gender-curious readers
Content: Mature themes
Permission to Be Curious
When you're drawn to something taboo, you start asking yourself whether something is wrong with you. Am I broken in some way? Tipping the Velvet was the first place I saw that kind of curiosity treated as perfectly fine.
Reading it made me see desire and gender play as another colour in our palette. I could let myself enjoy something taboo for its own sake, in a super safe, alone-in-your-bedroom kind of way.
That's one of my favourite things about books. How do you know if you like something? One really good way is to spend some time in your imagination, and what you like or don't like becomes pretty clear. The book also made me want to learn more, so I wouldn't feel as unsure as Nan sometimes does. Luckily, my university had a really active queer centre (I think it was called the GLBT Centre back then) with great workshops where I could learn about all kinds of things.
Queer People Have Always Been Here
The book is set in the late 1800s, and Sarah Waters is known for getting the period right. Reading it, I didn't think "thank goodness I don't live back then." I thought: oh, we’ve always been around. Trans and queer people have been doing their thing for at least a hundred years, and probably a lot longer. That was so validating.
Nan and Kitty don't only perform together. They play with gender while they do it, and the better they get at it, the better the show.
That part hit close to home, because I was a musician at the time. I'd been singing and playing instruments for years and going to jazz camp, but I didn't think you could be a musician professionally, so I went and got a degree in physics (as one does lol). After that I realized I had to pursue jazz, so I became a performing artist, made a bunch of records, and eventually got a degree in jazz performance from McGill.
I spent years struggling with how to present myself in the jazz world. Jazz has a long history of trans and queer people, but around 2010 it was very gendered. This was the peak of Diana Krall, and everyone wanted me in a cocktail dress and long gloves, while I was shaving my head. I didn't even know what was available to me as a performer.
At university, right after reading the book, I started meeting other queer and trans people. My best friend and I used to call ourselves genderqueer women who had boy days, and we'd play with gender together. We ran with a lesbian group, and now many of us have transitioned. It's funny how time goes!
Impersonating Versus Being
John asked whether Nan and Kitty were impersonating men or exploring gender, and whether any of that informs my work. It does, because those are the exact questions trans people ask themselves today. When someone starts transitioning, or even starts having gender-questioning thoughts, they worry: do I deserve to be a woman? Am I impersonating a woman in this makeup and this outfit? What does it mean to impersonate versus to be?
Only each person can answer that, and I'm not even sure the book answers it. On stage, Kitty is clearly a male impersonator. Offstage, you start to wonder: is this male impersonation, or is this butch? We don't know!
These questions come up in my own life too. I joke that I'm one course of testosterone away from being a gay man, and that I'm gay for my cisgender partner. Gender, sexuality, gay, straight, trans, and cis are messy, complicated, and overlapping.
There's No One Way to Have a Voice
From there we got into my work. I started teaching singing in 2008, came out as nonbinary around 2013, and started specializing in gender-affirming speech in 2019. There were lots of teachers for cisgender people and very few who understood what trans people were going through. Gender-affirming speech also brought in even more of the things I love, like voice science.
John shared that his acting teachers used to tell him he had no bass in his voice, and how much anxiety that gave him. Voice work makes everyone feel vulnerable, even cis people! But the more I do this work, the more I see that there is no one way to have a voice. I've met gay people who want to sound straighter and straight people who want to sound more gay.
So when someone reacts to your voice, it often says more about their expectations than it does about you. That's why I ask students to get concrete about their goals. Maybe you want a warmer voice for the radio, a voice that gets the reaction you want from people, or a voice that gives you joy. Those goals can conflict, too: the voice that gives you joy might not get you the reaction you want. It's complicated!
It's also why I built journal prompts into Mindful Voice Feminization. Every week there are two or three, like:
- What have you learned about yourself that you didn't know before?
- What's more challenging than you expected?
- What has come up for you that you weren't expecting?
- What expectations around gender have you started to notice?
Who Should Read Tipping the Velvet?
Anyone who's scared of trying something with their gender or sexuality, even as a thought experiment. This book will do some of the thought experiment for you. If you're dipping a toe into gender and desire (in the broad sense, beyond gay or straight), it's a really good book for opening that up in your mind. Just know it's a novel for grown-ups, so the same content note applies.
What's Next for Me
At the end, John asked what's next, and the big one is my first book! The Trans Voice Practice Journal is a place to ground your trans voice practice: part guide, part workbook, and part personalized reference section. You can track your practice over time and keep a record of your favourite exercises, and lots of my exercises are in there too. It comes out November 19, 2026, and you can get 20% off from Jessica Kingsley Publishers with the code VOICE20.
I also talked about the Trans Voice Practice Club, which I call the run club of trans voice: a place to do the thing with other people. It's pay-what-you-can, including zero, because the most marginalized people in our community need this kind of space the most, and money shouldn't be the reason anyone misses out. The doors open a few times a year, and I announce it in my newsletter, which I send out about every week.
Thank you so much to John Parker for having me, and for giving me an excuse to talk about this book!
The Trans Voice Practice Journal
Author: Renée Yoxon
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Out: November 19, 2026
Code: VOICE20 for 20% off
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} #block-1793104708696 .block { border: 1px solid #cccccc; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #ffffff; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 15px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1793104708696 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1793104708696 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 15px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1793104708696 { text-align: center; } } #block-1793104708696 .feature__image, [data-slick-id="1793104708696"] .feature__image { width: 150px; border-radius: 0px; } #block-1793104708696 .c100 {float: none; margin: 0 auto;} @media only screen and (min-width: 1080px) { #block-1793104708696 .revcirle {float: left; padding-top: 10px;} #block-1793104708696 .revtext {float: left;} #block-1793104708696 .revcirle { display: none;} #block-1793104708696 .revtext { width: 100%;} #block-1793104708696 .revtext, #block-1793104708696 .revcirle {width: 100%;} #block-1793104708696 .revcirle {float: none; margin: 0 auto;} } @media only screen and (min-width: 920px) and (max-width: 1079px) { #block-1793104708696 .revcirle {float: left; padding-top: 10px;} #block-1793104708696 .revtext {float: left; padding-left: 10px;} #block-1793104708696 .revcirle { display: none;} #block-1793104708696 .revtext { width: 100%;} #block-1793104708696 .revtext, #block-1793104708696 .revcirle {width: 100%;} #block-1793104708696 .revcirle {float: none; margin: 0 auto;} } @media only screen and (min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 919px) { #block-1793104708696 .revcirle, #block-1793104708696 .revtext {width: 100%;} #block-1793104708696 .revcirle {display: none;} } @media only screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-1793104708696 .revcirle, #block-1793104708696 .revtext {width: 100%;} #block-1793104708696 .revcirle {display: none;} } #block-1793104708696 .revtext div {font-size: 14px; padding: 5px 5px 3px 5px; border-bottom: solid 1px #dddddd; margin-bottom: 0; text-align: left; } #block-1793104708696 .revtext span.revleft { float: left; } #block-1793104708696 .revtext span.revright { float: right; } #block-1793104708696 .btn, [data-slick-id="1793104708696"] .block .btn { color: #ffffff; border-color: #dd460b; border-radius: 50px; background-color: #dd460b; } #block-1793104708696 .btn--outline, [data-slick-id="1793104708696"] .block .btn--outline { background: transparent; color: #dd460b; } #block-1793104708696 .feature__image, [data-slick-id="1793104708696"] .feature__image { width: 150px; border-radius: 0px; } #block-1793104708696 .c100 {float: none; margin: 0 auto;} @media only screen and (min-width: 768px) { #block-1793104708696 .revcirle, #block-1793104708696 .revtext {width: 100%;} #block-1793104708696 .revcirle {display: none;} } @media only screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-1793104708696 .revcirle, #block-1793104708696 .revtext {width: 100%;} #block-1793104708696 .revcirle {display: none;} } #block-1793104708696 .revtext p {font-size: 14px; padding: 5px 5px 3px 5px; border-bottom: solid 1px #dddddd; margin-bottom: 0; text-align: left; } #block-1793104708696 .revtext span { float: right; } #block-1793104708696 .fill, #block-1793104708696 .bar { border-color: #dd460b; } .rect-auto { clip: rect(auto, auto, auto, auto); } .pie, .c100 .bar { position: absolute; border: 0.08em solid #dd460b; width: 0.84em; height: 0.84em; clip: rect(0em, 0.5em, 1em, 0em); -webkit-border-radius: 50%; -moz-border-radius: 50%; -ms-border-radius: 50%; -o-border-radius: 50%; border-radius: 50%; -webkit-transform: rotate(0deg); -moz-transform: rotate(0deg); -ms-transform: rotate(0deg); -o-transform: rotate(0deg); transform: rotate(0deg); } .pie-fill { -webkit-transform: rotate(180deg); -moz-transform: rotate(180deg); -ms-transform: rotate(180deg); -o-transform: rotate(180deg); transform: rotate(180deg); } .c100.p75 .slice { clip: rect(auto, auto, auto, auto); } .c100.p75 .fill { position: absolute; border: 0.08em solid #dd460b; width: 0.84em; height: 0.84em; clip: rect(0em, 0.5em, 1em, 0em); -webkit-border-radius: 50%; -moz-border-radius: 50%; -ms-border-radius: 50%; -o-border-radius: 50%; border-radius: 50%; -webkit-transform: rotate(0deg); -moz-transform: rotate(0deg); -ms-transform: rotate(0deg); -o-transform: rotate(0deg); transform: rotate(0deg); } .c100.p75 .bar:after, .c100.p75 .fill { -webkit-transform: rotate(180deg); -moz-transform: rotate(180deg); -ms-transform: rotate(180deg); -o-transform: rotate(180deg); transform: rotate(180deg); } #block-1793104708696 .c100 { background-color: #cccccc; } .c100 { position: relative; width: 1em; height: 1em; -webkit-border-radius: 50%; -moz-border-radius: 50%; -ms-border-radius: 50%; -o-border-radius: 50%; border-radius: 50%; // margin: 0 0.1em 0.1em 0; background-color: #cccccc; // float: left; } .c100 *, .c100 *:before, .c100 *:after { -webkit-box-sizing: content-box; -moz-box-sizing: content-box; box-sizing: content-box; } #block-1793104708696 .c100 span { color: #dd460b; } .c100 span { position: absolute; width: 100%; z-index: 1; left: 0; top: 0; width: 5em; line-height: 5em; font-size: 0.2em; color: #cccccc; display: block; text-align: center; white-space: nowrap; -webkit-transition-property: all; -moz-transition-property: all; -o-transition-property: all; transition-property: all; -webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -moz-transition-duration: 0.2s; -o-transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease-out; -moz-transition-timing-function: ease-out; -o-transition-timing-function: ease-out; transition-timing-function: ease-out; } #block-1793104708696 .c100:after { background-color: ; } .c100:after { position: absolute; top: 0.08em; left: 0.08em; display: block; content: " "; -webkit-border-radius: 50%; -moz-border-radius: 50%; -ms-border-radius: 50%; -o-border-radius: 50%; border-radius: 50%; background-color: ; width: 0.84em; height: 0.84em; -webkit-transition-property: all; -moz-transition-property: all; -o-transition-property: all; transition-property: all; -webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -moz-transition-duration: 0.2s; -o-transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease-in; -moz-transition-timing-function: ease-in; -o-transition-timing-function: ease-in; transition-timing-function: ease-in; } .c100 .slice { position: absolute; width: 1em; height: 1em; clip: rect(0em, 1em, 1em, 0.5em); } .c100.p75 .bar { -webkit-transform: rotate(270.0deg); -moz-transform: rotate(270.0deg); -ms-transform: rotate(270.0deg); -o-transform: rotate(270.0deg); transform: rotate(270.0deg); } #block-1793104708696 .c100:hover { cursor: default; } #block-1793104708696 .c100:hover span { color: #dd460b; } #block-1793104708696 .c100:hover span { width: 3.33em; line-height: 3.33em; font-size: 0.3em; color: ; } #block-1793104708696 .c100:hover:after { top: 0.04em; left: 0.04em; width: 0.92em; height: 0.92em; } #block-1793104708696 .feature__text .entry-title { font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.25; } #block-1793104708696 .revtext div { display: flex; justify-content: space-between; align-items: flex-start; gap: 10px; } #block-1793104708696 .revtext span.revleft, #block-1793104708696 .revtext span.revright { float: none; } #block-1793104708696 .revtext span.revleft { flex-shrink: 0; } #block-1793104708696 .revtext span.revright { text-align: right; } #block-1793104708697 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1793104708697 .block { border: 4px black; border-radius: 4px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1793104708697 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1793104708697 .block { padding: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1793104708697 { text-align: left; } } #block-1577982541036_0 .btn { margin-top: 1rem; } #block-1793104708698 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1793104708698 .block { border: 4px black; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #FFFFFF; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1793104708698 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1793104708698 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1793104708698 { text-align: left; } } #block-1793104708698 .btn { border-color: #dd460b; border-radius: 4px; background: #dd460b; color: #ffffff; } #block-1793104708698 .btn--outline { background: transparent; color: #dd460b; } #block-1793104708698 .card__footer { color: } #block-1793104708699 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1793104708699 .block { border: 4px black; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #FFFFFF; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1793104708699 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1793104708699 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1793104708699 { text-align: left; } } #block-1793104708699 .btn { border-color: #dd460b; border-radius: 4px; background: #dd460b; color: #ffffff; } #block-1793104708699 .btn--outline { background: transparent; color: #dd460b; } #block-1793104708699 .card__footer { color: } #block-1793104708700 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1793104708700 .block { border: 4px black; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #FFFFFF; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1793104708700 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1793104708700 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1793104708700 { text-align: left; } } #block-1793104708700 .btn { border-color: #dd460b; border-radius: 4px; background: #dd460b; color: #ffffff; } #block-1793104708700 .btn--outline { background: transparent; color: #dd460b; } #block-1793104708700 .card__footer { color: } .awesomecontainer { background: ; h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, p, ul, li, .block-type--table table {color: ;} padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } .awesomecontainer .row { -webkit-box-align: flex-start; -ms-flex-align: flex-start; align-items: flex-start; } .awesomecontainer .row .block-type--accordion { align-self: flex-start; }
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